Dispense with the formalities shall we? Lets get on to the blog proper.
I had just watched Princess and the Frog, a Disney Movie. As of most Disney Movie, this is a special one following the Disney Musical Series such as Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast etc...
What makes it so special is the re-imagining of a classic, the fairy tale within a fairy tale and try to explain magic with modern world. A thorough comedy and a excellent way to convey morals.
Temptations. How far would you go to achieve what you wanted? What do you most need? Whatever that is presented in front of you may not be the necessary the best that you want, or there are underlying need that you need to fulfill in order to proceed on with your life.
The movie presents it in such a precise way that I couldn't help but wonder. What the hell am I supposed to do, not all of my life is a fairy tale.
I don't know, but, life does not have a fairy tale ending.
Ciao...
The strange twist of fate.
Episode 33: Split / Path
Thursday, December 03, 2009, 8:30 PM
I am quite frustrated by the fact I could not do anything these past few days.
Everything I did must be tracked and monitored, like an electric collar upon a dog. I cannot do anything according to my whim and fancy. Not that I will run amok doing that mind you.
This past few days at home are quite illuminating, based on the number of Playstation trophies I have earned during this time it really shows that my spending of time is really limited to video games.
Really.... At home, what else can I do except to play piano and fantasize myself as a composer... I am stressed out now...
One path led me to my dreams. Others I do not know. Playing games are good distraction to me now, people just cannot see it. Could anyone give me a sense of satisfaction that I get by playing?
Currently, I felt that I was sounding like a madman in need of crack. Sounding very desperate and tired. I do not take to disturbing easily and get annoyed. What the hell is wrong with me?
Everybody seemed so distant from me now. All my friends held by a fragile connection that will break anytime..
Playing piano is a chore, every single keys I hit produces off- kelter notes that I am so inclined to just bang on the keyboard. Wanting to scream out my frustration of my inability to will my hands to do what ever I wanted it to.
I just felt helpless, damn freaking helpless.
I guess I shall take to the skies... Spread my wings awhile... Dream while I still can.
Because, in a while. My wings will be stolen from me and I will fall. Fall down to the wretched ends of Tartarus.
Ciao.
The strange twist of fate.
Episode 32: Impending Chaos
Sunday, November 15, 2009, 10:02 AM
Looking at the title, one might say: " Gosh, how childish!"
But it is a title nevertheless befitting of what has transpired this week, depending on how people look at it.
For me, this week can me summarized into a word, "Shit". This week is shit. Completely bullshit.
They evidently want to drive me up to the wall. Screw the lucky charm my father gave me, it doesn't seem to be working.
My life is cursed from the start. That being all is a gentle way of putting it across, ever since in Brunei, I have been haunted by ghosts of the past.
I have been scarred by lots of people in the past, bullied because of being white by those inglorious racists.
Even though crossing the sea to Singapore, a place I thought I would settle down, I would say I was wrong. Now I have no intention of settling down.
Not to slander, up on the surface, Singaporeans are portrayed as the ideal most gracious citizens as can ever be, the kind hearts that reach out to the needy, only just marred by the recent episodes of funky charities that loves to make it into the news.
But in what I have experienced, Singaporeans are capable of kill/steal and are just stingy people. They live in the world where natural resources are abundant yet they resort to make other people live's miserable by leeching off them.
There are so much more to say in this post but I will just be wasting my brain cells writing this piece of crap that doesn't constitute a post but maybe just a rant after all.
And so I have to head down to camp tomorrow, on my leave no less. Suck it up? I have heard enough of this.
This time, I have to make sure they feel the effects of my wrath.
Ira
Ciao.
The strange twist of fate.
Episode 31: Guiding Light
Friday, October 30, 2009, 5:15 PM
This month is coming to an end. A month of action, mystery and resolution.
It seems I have gotten my momentum going. I have a clear goal, a good de-stressing measure, a few good friends to rely upon on times of trouble.
Piano wise... Slowly improving, I can't say that I have improved much due to the lack of teachers to teach me the right rungs to climb up the ladder. Well, skipping a bit is also good. Cause I have free rein on my style :P
Well, to spice things up here a bit... Here are some pictures of recent activities I participated in.
Birthday party... Looks like I am enjoying it right? You guys can say that we are enjoying the thrill of leaving the party midway....
Oh yea! Today was Cohesion for our platoon! That was nice...
Anyways.. I ran out of things to say...
G'day!!!
Ciao for now.
The strange twist of fate.
Episode 30: Life of the Planet
Sunday, October 25, 2009, 1:06 AM
Went clubbing for the first time today.
It was an okay experience I supposed... Not to start nitpicking, Me, Wang Sen, Ruzaini and 2 other people from Seletar Medical Center (my god... My mind is like a sieve...) went to ZOUK.(Nice one... Hidden behind a hotel...)
Actually, we spent the bulk of the time waiting outside of the club... Look at him, him him him/her...
Finally went in at 10.45p.m... Inside there was a cool system... Invisible hand stamps! Nice ultra-violet black light system. Inside the club proper was like what I expected of clubs. Strobe lights, mists, people partying...
I thought it was like this...
Well, lesson learnt is to keep expectations low... Where are all the fire jugglers / costumed dancers?
Ok... Lowered expectations.
Instead of the bright and colorful, we get dull and drabby. Black and dark with pulses of white light. Instead of lively dance music, it was replaced by sonic eruptors that only emits waves of vibrations. Mists are nice too....
I found myself getting restless after awhile. Nightclub isn't just my thing, going there to socialise and all is good... I guess.. But it still a no for me. Heck. I do not think I will even step into any clubs after this experience. I don't even drink... ok.. A bit... Wang Sen offered me a sip of lime vodka... Taste like fizzy drink, and a little bitter... Made my stomach turned a bit...
I do not like taking pictures of myself... Well, I am not as loving to get photographed like last time :=)
Ok... Think that is all for today.
Ciao.
The strange twist of fate.
Episode 29: True Past
Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 12:45 AM
Another year has passed.
For me, another jump in age.
I think, the time has come to reiterate my dreams and now make a strong conviction in fulfilling it. No matter the obstacles, how high or tough it may be, even if it seem insurmountable. I will find the strength to conquer it.
This year was the year of National Service for me. A hell lot of things that went on, When I mean hell lot I mean it...
It was this time last year I was preparing for my 'A' Levels. Studied darn hard. Studied like there are no tomorrow. Shed a few buckets of tears and sweat just for this asinine piece of result slip.
Demoralized me like no tomorrow this exam did, the moment I went and take the slip, my heart just froze over. No emotion, nothing, people around me celebrating, crying in sorrow. I just walked away... Meeting Ruo Xuan outside the hall, I just smiled. My heart almost broke then, she cheered me on even though my results were so horrifying... Well... To most people anyways. It took every fiber of my being not to choke up when talking to her...
That was during BMT I believe...
Speaking of BMT. Going to Pulau Tekong is an experience that should be experienced. Shaved heads, rowdy behavior, weird characters.. All that can be expected from all walks of life converged into one single company.
The 'Hawk' Company. One of the companies that made up the many that Tekong has to offer. My bunk mates were the odd sheep of the platoon, cause, we are the 'expatriates room'. 3 from China, 2 from India, 2 from Philippines and me from Malaysia. 10 days after we get acquainted with ourselves, Leong Chun Kiat, posted here. A kinda cool friend to have, hardworking and smart to boot.
There, in the platoon, bonds foster and grow. Collin Tan, my ex-classmate. We still rarely talk to each other. Chen Shuo Tian, whose ties to Alan Ng and Dorry Poa are too coincidental to be true, and we are linked in such web that no one can fathom.
Chiang Cheng Hsien (Doraemon) , who accompany me throughout the National Service life up to now. Either he is stalking me or we have some kind of ESP. I wanted to be a medic while he want to be a storeman/logistic officer... Seriously he almost decided to sign on..... :( Me, Chun Kiat and him were posted together to become Medics (now Emergency Medical Technicians) and Chun Kiat passed out as one of the top few and went off to his high flying career. Meanwhile me and Cheng Hsien went on to Medical Response Force which I will touch upon later.
In every camp, there are difficult people and obstacles need clearing. My 'buddy' from China for example, to describe him lightly, he is egocentric. That's enough for BMT for now. Getting out of Tekong is a relief, cause, no more long travels! Or so I hope.
Posted to Medics is one of my dreams, to help people in ways not possible. Save Lives. I have a penchant of reading up 'random and useless' stuff and well thank Boys' Brigade for the 1st Aid lessons too. Going to Nee Soon, my hair stood up on it's end, I felt weird as I think I will be bonded there for quite some time.
I think my premonition is dead spot on.
Aside from that, being there in Basic Medic Course was the funnest time of my National Service life. The condition I met my friends are extraordinary. I was literally almost jumping on them. The life there can be a culture shock too. Nice and calm.
Lots of friends there, I gonna post few of the memorable ones.
Wang Sen (Brother that I never had) I don't know but, you struck me in a weird way. We share similarities and had differences. Same birthday (Happy birthday 20th ! Senior!). I just don't know, but how we stuck together this past few months and the lessons you impart to me are quite useful, i.e Stay away from EMO. But there is a bond between us, albeit a little special in a way. Don't get me wrong, I was not going to leap into your arms soon. But you are the most approachable guy I can go to to have fun and pour my sorrows. Lets hope our bonds last long and keep the fun times going.
Seong Koon Yeu Keed (The 1st true buddy I had) Damn long name, it took me two weeks to memorise names, Wang Sen's one is shorter than yours... I called you Koon but eventually by your surname even though it's not actually your first name. Anyways, being my buddy and all, we are inseparable. I still remember the time when I entered MRF the 1st day and you visited me.. In the sick bay. But to me, I would love to have you as a partnering associate, a buddy that will stick through all the hard times and enjoy all the pleasantries the world has to offer. Let the trio of us, Wang Sen, Me and You go out together more often. Good luck on your Aussie trip though mate!
Even though the days of BMC were long past, I still love to sit here with Ice-Cream in hand reminiscing the days the fun days we all had. Good times never last long as we want to, but we still hang out to prolong the feeling we sowed throughout these 3 months.
As the day of the eventual separation drew near, I knew I must part with dear friends as I had before. Alan, Dorry, Wang Sen, Koon. Went on to their respective jobs. And I was posted to MRF. A nice unit people say, but I can't bear to part with my friends that become like brothers to me. Friends that I stay here for, friends that I will give up my life to save them.
The course was hell to me. I had never been so humiliated before in my life. Thousands of time, voices in my head just tell me to drop and quit. Hell, I was not even a Singaporean and I don't intend to be one.. I just do not see the value in it to hold a PINK IC, not that I am against the color. I am just not glorified to take it.
People mostly view me as a tool. Whatever purpose in life do I have just to help them. A tool will get worn out after a while and that was what happened to me. I was being pushed to the brink of delusion and madness. Even my closest friends do not dare to talk to me . My mental stress went all time high.
I truly break down and just went nuts just because of something.
But life here is better now, as I improvise and adapt as I went along. I hope things go smoothly until I finish my term.
So far, convictions I have made is that I stop being so pessimistic.
On the Way to A Smile is my goal.
Here. I am going to take an Oath. To protect my dreams and friends.
I, Daniel Goh, Resident of the Planet Earth which is one of the satellites of one of the star in the Milky Way galaxy. Swear to keep positive, Be Loyal to my fellow brothers and friends. I will continue to fight and fight harder I shall in the face of the obstacles and adversaries. Giving up is not an option here.
I shall now state my dreams. I will become a Musician, composing for video games. I bring imagination to life as music is my sword. Although the swords still need tempering and sharpening. I will never abandon them to their fate. I will see the dream through even though they may, in time Become hardened steel, or broken pieces of metal by the way side.
I swear to protect my brethen, My friends, my brothers and those in kind. Providing them accompaniment and a kind soul that will hopefully, forge a strong bond that will last through the test in time.
Now.
I think the time has come. I want to make a few wishes.
1. Stronger bonds with my friends, renewing them if there became quite worn. 2. More realized dreams. 3. A clearer path to my future.
And on that note. I felt good being 19 and all. Happy Birthday Wang Sen too! The coincidence is quite appalling.
Ciao. Stay tuned for the next episode.
P.S (the next day)
After writing this long long post in the middle of the night. I guess the feeling just fell apart midway through. Look at the paragraphs above, the more I look at it the more I portray myself as a gay homosexual kind of guy. Which duh is the wrong image.
Plus at the last few paragraph, I must be nuts or possessed to write like this....
I am quite lazy to change the blog post cause, hey! Long post... It is a hassle to edit too.
Anyways, this time, I gonna say bye for now, and see what the future brings me..
The strange twist of fate.
Update
Wednesday, September 16, 2009, 7:08 PM
What have i been thru the past week.
Quarantined and worse...
The strange twist of fate.
Profile
Friends : Any friends? More and more these few days
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School : I rather not say
World ended ? : Y/N Personally... I circle Y
